Clinical Psychologist Prachi S Vaish lists five very credible reasons for why he may not be going down on his knees, despite not being commitment phobic.
1. The proposal jitters
There’s not a single man who isn’t afraid of being turned down for marriage, no matter how long you’ve been a couple. So they all get tongue tied when they imagine you saying ‘no’. To top that, they have to plan for the perfect moment to propose. So if he hasn’t said anything yet, maybe he’s gathering courage and waiting for the right time.
Get it going: Next time you watch a romantic movie together, hint at how you’re so ready to settle down and how do you picture your proposal. You’ll be doing him a big favour!
2. The lone star
Is he the only guy in his gang to have gone steady for a long time? Then maybe it’s the cold feet that are keeping him from getting ready for the vows. It doesn’t mean that he’s commitment phobic. It’s just that he does not have a precedent in his buddy group who can show him how wonderful marriage can be!
Get it going: If you have some married friends, plan a double date with a couple with similar interests. Bonding with a married guy may speed things up for him!
3. The Wedding Affair
He’s heard you plan your friend’s wedding, has seen your ‘wedding plan book’ with pages after pages of flower arrangements, dresses, venues etc. to choose from, and has even seen your friends turning into Bridezillas. Don’t you think that’s enough to make him cringe? When a guy wants to get married, he just wants to get married. He’s not interested in a whole theatrical performance!
Get it going: Stop talking about the wedding plans in super detail. A wedding will eventually happen, and you know you’ll get your way in the end, but why scare the guy off!
4. The eternal change story
Everyone who’s married – man or woman - is always talking about how the person they are married to isn’t the same they fell in love with. Maybe that apprehension that you too will turn into someone else the moment he proposes is what’s keeping him on the other side of the ‘will you’ line.
Get it going: Whenever you two have a conversation about post-marriage life, try to highlight the good things that come with the change in life. Don’t try to convince him that it’ll always be the same, because it won’t. But that doesn’t mean the love will go away.
5. Too comfy
If you two have been living together a long time, may be he’s gotten too comfortable with the arrangement and does not see the need to propose. It’s not callous, just simple. He’s happy and can’t see how marriage will make things any better.
Get it going: Move out for a few days on the pretext of giving a girlfriend company or a work excuse and watch him pining for you and a wedding!
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